Heart Speaking

Many years ago, I followed an itinerant British folk singer from San Francisco to Massachusetts. She was funny, irreverent and I thought, a genius. I found who she truly was in a creek outside of North Hampton, where she took her regular swim. This concept of regular anything was alien to me & so made quite the impression. She let me sing backup on a tape recording of her music & so I was quite taken with her, her productivity, her sharing.

Now it's almost 20 years later. My husband took me out to see the Flaming Lips film at the local independent arts theater. A story about hillbilly punkrockers who finally divine their sound, their text. Very inspiring!

We came home to chores. I'm very wine-anated & a Virgo mars, and so that is the ultimate in appealing to me. Odd, that. So, I'm done with dishes & the house is clean on Friday at 1:28AM. We have a busy, friendly weekend ahead of us & an arduous, but full of love week behind us, so I can't think of anything better. What I mean by that is, I'm still of the mind that doing service in my home is the best way to open my heart for my friends, the best way to clarify my intention.

Wine glasses later, J's in bed. I'm typing along. My head is spinning, I can't deny it. This week was the most tough at work, the most loved of the folks I worked with were the most difficult to decipher, to me the most inaccessible this week. I'm used to a pretty clean slate at work, especially, so this broke my heart quite a bit.

There are fights that occur between people because things aren't what they seem & boundaries need to be redrawn, but that's honestly no fun for anyone. My hope is that the work that I've done & that the folks I've worked with have done, will end up being in harmony. But in the end, I cannot claim attachment to what happens in my life, I can steer it, but can't predict it. I have proof of that, given that my life has already topped anything I've been able to perceive on my own, but still feel sad that my emotions remain so raw & reactive.

The Flaming Lips film was all about the consistency of work ethic. I did not start out in life with work ethic in the forefront of my efforts, but it's been readily apparent that work ethic is the bulk of what will eventually carry me through this phantasm of physical experience. I do more than surrender to it, I contribute all of the subtlety that I can muster. I honor it, I salute work ethic.

Here's why: Wayne Coyne has pulled a beloved friend out of addiction and back into maximum creativity, along with offering his nephew & family the magic of creative pursuits without 'putting on airs' and is, according to the documentary, about the work he can provide. Granted this is from a documentary that could be slanted, but I've seen too much of this attitude's success to question it indefinitely. I'm game, I'm ready to do this work.

Beyond that, my fluffy - short-haired white cat just click-clacked by me on her way to her food. I love this 16 yr old, blue-eyed marvel. I do. But love, you see, is easy for me.

the...end...