it's all under the surface

journal entries & current projects

Wednesday, April 28, 2004

Quick note after a long time thinking, "What will I write next?".

I just got home after a half hour in the car, listening to a completely logical discourse about the flaws of our current government on NPR. I feel frustrated by the tensions & fear that have eroded my ability to articulate a more humane path for the world than the one that is rapidly becomming our new American reality. Examples from the radio show: environmental laws are being rolled back & the effects are starting to show. The assumption that money & power are a mark of all that is good in the world seems to be the only thing that our current leaders recognize. This radio show was frustrating to listen to, feeling as I do - which is pretty much out of answers. I wrote my representatives in congress today - about my preference that the first amendment not be changed. I did that - but otherwise...

Things have been pretty exciting in Chez Bennett. I met with a gallery owner last week, one who wants to keep up with my work & with whom I may have a show down the line. I also have done considerable work to line up an actual, professional artist website. I've ordered big canvases, to get started working on larger pieces. Jason & I are looking at getting a new car, I'm looking into running in a marathon. Work, for both Jason & myself, has been appropriately challenging & rewarding to boot.

I've been feeling a need to withdraw. With so much going on that requires my attention & large chunks of time, I've pulled back from regular social engagements - outside of those I share with my closest pals. I can barely wrap my brain around how things are changing, but know that I want more peace in my life & to take care of my home.

If this were 13 years ago, I'd put money on it that I'd be out in the streets - laying down in front of cars to protest the outrage I feel toward man's inhumanity to man. I'm not in the same space & so different solutions must come for this very different time. I hope I don't waste opportunities I have to contribute, meaningfully, to improving what happens in the world.