Solstice Parade



Primarily photos of Saints of the World, Unite! They are playing "When the saints come marching in" and are joined by folks with mirrors, who are showing the crowds their own images among those of the saints on the banners. A bit of liberty was taken with the overall mix of saints.

There are also pictures of Artis - the spoonman (think Soundgarden), some people in peat masks, giant robots and some clowns.

Gathering my thoughts

I've had a hella good post simmering for Hard to Get over the last few months. Since I'm still digging my way out of an elegant transition, masking only slightly the over-a-year-old burnout, I've not been posting at all. I'll keep that post on the backburner, tho. No need to rush things now.

Some thoughts from current news items:

Mississippi Burning: After 40+ years, Edgar Ray Killen has been convicted of the slayings of three civil rights workers outside of Philadelphia, MS. I wrote earlier in this blog about Rwanda through the eyes of Romeo Dallaire and I've also written about the Armenian Genocide, and I'm struck by the repeated ability to collude by many folks.

The re-opening of this case reminds me of the two references above because it takes economic pressures, collusion of folks in positions of authority and tacit agreement all around to single folks out for their differences -- yet we've mastered this ability. I've not even mentioned the situation in the Sudan, something that is happening right now. It's puzzling, the willingness we have to kill others.

I've been toying with a notion to highlight the ancestral relationships between men & women - men linked to protection of community, women linked to earthly abundance & nurturing. It's always seemed a contentious tragedy that the maligning & subjugation of women hasn't been connected to the issues of squalor & lack in the world. I know that men suffer at the hands of women & that there isn't a clear indication that bringing women, finally & forever, out of the snare of male rulership isn't a clarion call to resolving the issues the world faces, but it does seem that the world is in a bind & that the bind is simply contracting and expanding, rather than truly being resolved. Feel free to take potshots at this theory. I'm nothing -- if not one with a tendency to generalize.

Bolton GOP support is back: "President Bush has the power to install Mr. Bolton as United Nations envoy by appointing him while Congress is not in session, during its summer break, for example. Such a recess appointment would be effective until the end of the next session of Congress, about 18 months from now."

The Economy: Currently, healthcare cost increases are outpacing inflation. Also, more companies are firing people. Finally, chickens come home to roost for Rigas, latest in a line of messed up management. Generalist warning: at this point, how can industry not fight over the last dollar? Am I missing something here?

More stories, this time no links: Schiavo (still dead), Saddam (new story from, evidently, the guy guarding him), Bush polls (no longer worried about how low they go - and why not, it's his second term)

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So, funny story. J & I visited Laurie this week & she mentioned that she's writing a book (substitute appropriate job title here). No big surprise there, she's a genius with stuff to say. Would J be her book agent? This is the funny bit, I say "I'd make an awesome book agent", and "Choose me!". She's game, then a dull silence falls around the three of us. J's looking at me, Laurie's looking at us both & I say, "Oh yeah, I'm not taking on any new tasks before I get my work situation cleared up."

Laurie is one of my closest friends and indulgent, so she didn't mind my quick turnaround. But I know it's trying when I'm apparantly available to do good work, then I pull back. What I'm trying to avoid is spending my time in a way similar to how I used to spend my money: I would try to spend it four or five times. First on say, a nifty gadget - then on, maybe, food - and my favorite - after trying to spend money twice, I'd save it! Get where I'm going here? You can't spend money more than once! Ha! Took me forever to get that & now that tendency has creeped into how I spend time: I'll help here, there & everywhere - then I'll go have fun -- and then... I'll take care of myself & rest...

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No laptop yet -- so I'm luxuriating at J's desktop. He's on a conference call right now & has graciously let me interrupt his workday with occassional e-mail checkings & news readings... Infrequent computer access is doing wonders, I'm thinking.

It's the questions

I needed this day. After dreaming dreams & heading over to the sisters, I'm wrapping up the evening with laundry folding & listening to J's medleys. How many years have I been waiting to revisit the evenings we spent -- him playing & me listening & kicking back?

Suffice it to say it's been a while.

Two days in

I'm on my second day of unemployment & I wish I could say I feel very free, but it's not hit me yet. Having spent the last 5 or so years relying on my force of will to help me achieve what I want, and that's not to say I haven't always relied on my force of will, I'm pooped. Perhaps this job helped me see that I won't always be able to power my way through difficult circumstances, if only because my ability to care for myself diminishes so dramatically when I put will first.

Jason and I have shared meals together & after this weekend, the regular meetings of our friends at our place are presumed to begin their decline. We're hoping to take off next weekend for some R&R, away from city lights & computers.

Thought I'd toss this up before I head out for a sunny afternoon. I've really appreciated the well wishes from many folks who have extended them & am moved by the care that I've received in this time.

More soon...

Wrapping up

This is the last night before my last day of work for my current employer. I've got meetings from 8am to 6pm. I'm on the useless side of being burnt out & amped up. I'm on my work laptop, finishing the doc sort & cleaning up my desktop.

I've been a bit of a zombie at home lately, no energy for anything. That's too bad, too, because J's been working with folks on a dishy plan for this weekend's Solstice Parade. Something, something kazoos & "When the saints go marching in". I'll photograph it, found out I'm free on Saturday. That'll be fun, but in the meantime, I've been dodging all of the hubbub at home & pensively smoking on the front porch. After Sunday's dazzling wine spectacle, I'm leary of finding an exit for this tension. I want to do the right thing & this is nothing - no poke in the eye with a sharp stick, no juror duty on the MJ case, it's just not that big of a deal.

I made a tactical error, photo-wise. Took hundreds of shots & expediently plopped them on my work computer. They total almost a gig of space, so it won't be easy to shift them from one computer to another. I tried e-mailing them and it added up to 4 images per mail...

Waiting for the images to load, dum de dum.

I'm distracting myself with macabre web sites. Yesterday it was the Rwandan & Armenian genocides - Romeo Dallaire's story of his struggle to save 10's of thousands of Rwandans was eerie & distinct -- the story of the Turkish atrocities against Armenians was quoted by Hitler as justification for targeting Jews before the Holocaust. I've always marveled and mourned at our ability as humans to destroy each other.

Tonight's content gets back to nature, animal attack-style. Being from a urban-outlying suburb, I was raised with little experience with nature - so little that my first trip across country was marked by constant comparisons to a local amusement park. "It looks like King's Dominion!" I would say, over & over again.

I'd like to think I've exposed myself to enough of the outdoors to forever shift that limited view - but I have quite aways to go. Recent conversations with folks who have spent plenty of time sailing (around Hawaii, Alaska & Washington) have brought up fascinating stories about sailing by grey whales (when they blow the plumes of water, it's really snotty & fishy smelling), watching orca attacks & even being the focus of a potential orca attack. It's not a direct shot from those stories to my curiosity about, say, crocodile attacks... it acts more as a remedy for that lurid tendency on my part.

I am no different than the folks watching America's Funniest Home Videos. A much more productive investigation of the animal kingdom happened earlier this week - or last week... Saturday, E & I reviewed the painted vulture, various dinosaurs & many monkey types. He's 5 & kept me company while other folks worked on a float & banners for this weekend's parade.

Well, I'll have to finish the photo project tomorrow. Browsers are closing down for the evening.

In terms of communication:

So, a good weekend has grabbed me by the metaphorical tail & is at it's end. Tomorrow I face the last of three days of pre-ordained work. It's undecided on my account, but I can assure you, with my schedule as is, there is work to be done.

My cat is outside, as am I. Soaking in the windy rain that is the true lot of any Seattle-lite. I am one of those, being 15 years into this game. My cat, who arrived in Seattle shortly after I did, is old now... given how cat years run... but I am still a pup.

Cooperation & familiarity ruled the roost this weekend & that seems correct, given my new focus of home over work & friends over co-workers. But there is much to be done to complete the transmission. Assured, as I am, over the limitlessness of Plaxo (the web address book that houses my contact information), I am still concerned that the Marlena's, Craig's & Matt's of the world will not have sufficient access to me in the switch from high tech to high road.

There isn't a sure way to confirm the footing upon which I travel. The road is more than even friends can help foreshadow & caution seems to be the key.

If I told you that in this transition that all I have been concerned about is that the folks who deserve it would get the love that I have to share, what could that mean to you, unless you are one of the deserving? As selective as I am, how could I not leave out a Molly or two? How could I not look to a Shannon or a Jessica to help me pick up the pieces? And what does it mean that wine is the impetus for this posting?

The web has been all but silent on this issue. It offers me no more than a hyperbolic Jacko entry or a repetitive warning on the mistakes of the House of Bush.

I'm going it alone, fundamentally & must trust that the falling away of crutches like caffiene & nicotine will suffice as I find my way to my true calling and to what will truly help me give what it is that I apparantly have to give...

addendum

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Simple & dumb

I got a new laptop today. Set up just fine, then a shrieking noise filled the room. I've called helpdesk & they are going to send out a replacement part before taking it back. I've not heard of an instance of anyone I know getting a computer & having it work flawlessly. Sigh.

These have been hectic days. I've no way of telling everyone at work that I'm leaving & the e-mails are starting. Without a handy dose of short-timer's syndrome, I'm stuck working when it's my last chance to check in with folks I have really enjoyed working with. Small problem, but it's weighing on my mind.

I feel better about the work I've done; most folks I'm leaving in my shoes will have what they need to press on & it's been entertaining to develop strategies to keep them going in my absence. I've enjoyed it, even though it does make me sad to see this part of my life reach it's conclusion.

That doesn't mean I'm dismayed about making this change. I'm thrilled to feel ready, exhilirated, etc. It's a lot to take on, so it's daunting, but I'm not being flip or flighty about it, so there. I mean, so that's good.

I've been isolating myself of late. Not taking calls and not doing much at night. I ran through the local blockbusters & came up with nothing to bring home, but have the last few dvds of Futurama to watch, the ones that David left here -- for Joanna to come get. Joanna, who lives in Maryland. Should come out here, for a visit.

So much to put together for the summer. Scuba diving? I'll need to get certified & get over claustrophobia. Astrology? I'll need to dig in to studies & pick an elective to take at the local Astrological college. Art? Don't even get me started.

I'll wrap up now. It's 10pm already & I've got to see if there's anything left of the evening.

Laptops, sheesh!

J's watching Bad Education on the dvd player. Feels like fall outside. The hoots & hollers for the ball team in the field in front of our yard feel more beginning of school than beginning of summer with the wind blowing chill air.

I've been a degenerate napper today. Slept & slept. Would sleep more, but I'd also like to get some things done.

Yawn...

Couldn't wait

Went through May photos & ended up posting them here:


We saw a documentary on the Minutemen tonight, We Jam Econo. I have a distinct memory of seeing them in DC, but if D.Boone died in 1985, I'd just be one year out of high school. Google has been no help at all in backing up my memory. Anyway, it was good to see them - just like that crazy Flaming Lips movie was good to see.

Told folks at work today that I was leaving. Tough to do. Lots of good stuff going on & so I better make this attempt at a career shift worth it. Good people at work. That's not often the case.

Time to hit the hay.