it's all under the surface

journal entries & current projects

Saturday, October 30, 2004

I'm sitting here, after an 8 mile run, waiting for my turn in the shower & then a late breakfast at Longshoreman's Daughter. I asked Jason to join me on the Burke Gilman trail this morning, along with the other marathon trainers, so I'd have someone who would actually run with me.

Our reward: the standard (not taken for granted yet, tho) beautiful vistas - poplars and autumn colors, blue herons-grebes-geese-ducks and today a very impressive bald eagle - first gliding down the slough, then ignoring a determined red-tailed hawk who was tussling for the eagle's prey which was dangling temptingly from the eagle's beak. That, along with the assurance that I can run 2/3rds of the half marathon that I signed up for back in August.

Last night we caught a few tv shows & flicks, spending the night as close to bed time as we could muster. These last few weeks have been exhausting for J & I've been sleeping off any temptation to workout over my post-marathon limit. Now I'm almost back to my regular workout schedule. We saw Saved, another Six Feet Under, Arrested Development & have A Slipping Down Life for another night.

Did I mention the thing, about the electoral college reporting? I know I must have, but perhaps I didn't sufficiently convey the excitement that inspires in me. It's up there, that activity, with some pretty significant contenders.

Friday, October 29, 2004

I tried to blog last night - started with a shout out to those triumphant BoSox, carried on with my ongoing lethargy & frustration with not getting to do art. Then, my computer died on me. Completely. So I gave up on a post & hit the hay.

Tonight I had planned to clean out my studio storage & now I see that'll have to wait for another day (or two).

The only cool announcements I have are as follows:
a. I wrote the former ceo of the co. I work for today, to ask if I could high five him for charity. I got turned down by his admin., but am glad I asked.
b. I get to check out the electoral votes as they come in on election night & am helping out at work with that reporting.

and now, a neruda poem. It's my favorite, in fact.


OH EARTH, WAIT FOR ME
Pablo Neruda

Turn me oh sun
towards my native destiny,
rain from the ancient forest,
return to me the fragrance and the swords
that fall from the sky,
the solitary peace of field and rock,
the moisture at the margins of the river,
the scent of the larch,
the wind, alive like a heart
beating among the remote flock
of the great araucaria.

Earth, return to me your pure gifts
the towers of silence that rose
from the solemnity of their roots:
I want to return to being what I have not been,
learn to return from such depths
that amongst all the things of nature
I could live or not live: no matter
to be one more stone, the dark stone,
the pure stone that is carried by the river.

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

Jason is applauding my slightly inebrieted attempt to pop him with bottle caps from across the room. That's just what's happening now, but it says plenty. Jema, my cat, is fussing for attention.

This week has been a doozy, but fortunately, I've been able to accomplish some stuff & so feel ok. My photo of some kids hangs for sale up on the wall of our cafeteria - the chateau, Jason and I call it - I've posted vacation photos to my in-laws & have sent my sister some pretty things, because I love her.

I have not, however, been able to reconstruct my pre-marathon workout schedule, or any schedule, when it comes to that & that, therefore, is my only "personal life" gripe. Doing that marathon shocked the hell out of me & I feel a bit touchy about how/when/where I will workout - which means I've only run once with Jason & then only a few miles.

Beyond that, I guess I'm kinda wanting to share that I don't feel very strident about the last post on the site, specifically in regards to the astrological assessment of what's happening. I was talking with a co-worker today about the increased emphasis on death & other worldly things on tv & cable these days & brought up that "Pluto was in Scorpio & now is in Sag, suggesting that investigations of death related things & a search for truth were hallmarks of this time" & then felt pretty goofy because I know he doesn't buy into the whole astrological signatures. Likewise, the signatures that call out for an increase in discipline, I leave totally in the hands of the individuals who read this - vs. issuing an astrological edict - type-thing.

What else? Literally, Jason is appearing to me as a Pablo Picasso masterpiece, complete with three eyes, etc. It's possible that I've imbibed too much to be a coherent writer, such as I am in any event & so I'll sign off. You know, Peace out g.



Sunday, October 17, 2004

I've been reviewing polls, looking at how the electoral votes may fall & thought folks may want to see a few interesting, related sites. The first site asks "What if the whole world could vote in the U.S. presidential election?" and tries to answer that question here: http://www.betavote.com/results/. The second site tracks electoral votes on a daily basis, here: http://www.electoral-vote.com/. Both have a slight lead for Kerry at the moment.

I enjoyed the debates tremendously. The sense that these two candidates are truly toe to toe was evident in the effort they put forth. However, as the election nears, I learn more and more about how divided this country is.

For example, on the Republican side - 2000 was about the Dems trying to steal the vote from Bush, who won fair & square. Moreover, the leadership that Bush has shown is serious and it's a serious time for the country - switching leaders should only happen if the other candidate is a shoe-in to resolve the current issues facing us. Kerry hasn't proved that he's that candidate & with the non-stop negativity in the campaign at this point - my assumption is that Republicans have seen nothing to sway their vote. Beyond that, the ongoing struggle for right to life efforts, outrage at the efforts to make marriage available for homosexual couples & indignance at the results of decades of a secular agenda that has changed the social parameters Americans operate within have backed evangelical citizens into a corner. Finding the US unrecognizable to their faith, many see the President as a rightening of a path we have wrongly tread.

On the Democratic side, Bush never won the election - His efforts to smash American Freedoms in favor of both pure economic benefit for himself & his posse are blatant -His faith based leadership begs the question of personal freedoms for those who do not follow the now 40% evangelical identification of US citizens. There is a real fear, for those who see Bush's efforts as increasingly dangerous for our nation, that his re-election will make America a lesser place to live - in the best case scenario: a money making machine with religious automatons running the show - in the worse case scenario: a destroyed culture, easily picked off by those who oppose us.

Astrologically speaking, this is a period of polarization, soap box speeches and a desperate search for the truth - which includes travel through deception. The next phase will be more practical, although whether that will manifest as facism & oppression or discipline & hard work remains to be seen. If you knew that tougher times were on their way & you could choose to put your work up to the challenge, would you do that? I'm giving that a try - discipline & hard work.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

Some news articles:
Karl Rove in a Corner the Atlantic Online
Advances in science

Snippet from Jon Stewart on Crossfire:
"STEWART:I made a special effort to come on the show today, because I have privately, amongst my friends and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being bad. "
(LAUGHTER)
BEGALA: We have noticed.
STEWART: And I wanted to -- I felt that that wasn't fair and I should come here and tell you that I don't -- it's not so much that it's bad, as it's hurting America.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: But in its defense...
(CROSSTALK)
STEWART: So I wanted to come here today and say...
(CROSSTALK)
STEWART: Here's just what I wanted to tell you guys.
CARLSON: Yes. STEWART: Stop.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America.

It's worth a read.

I'm burning a cd, trying to do a few mixes actually. I've got heaps of things to mail today & I'm trying to see if I can get a cd out before I send everything out. I'm also hoping to get a few things framed today.

My timing has been off this week. Dunno if it's the marathon, though the bulk of my off-ness seems to be stemming from my extreme sleeping. I've been clocking some 12 hour nights. I guess I must be tired.

Another time consuming thing has been watching DVDs. I've tried to make time spent watching useful too, but that's a losing premise. We're watching the first season of Six Feet Under. It's well written, shocking and I do enjoy the weird, dead people interacting with the living. We have Midnight Cowboy, but after Easy Rider last week, I need a break from that confrontive social melodrama, late 60's/early 70's style. I can't tell if it's because I feel like they got so much wrong or if I am surprised to see threads of stories that are timeless outsider metaphors.

Just finished the CD & am heading down to see if framing is in my near future.

tracks:




Sunday, October 10, 2004

More on the marathon:

The first mile was a crush of folks; walkers and runners jostling through a bottleneck of volunteers. Each of us had a chip on our shoe to track our time & volunteers steered us along, over the sensors that started our time for the whole race. Off we go, the distractions of the beginnings of the Mayor's 5 mile and the Kids Fun Run shaped the first mile. That and the waterfront. I watched my heart rate & tried to remember to look around.

My first mile coincided with the fastest runner's 5th (or so), we crossed paths soon after I was on Naito Parkway. Police cars preceded the glorious and sleek athletes, the athletes that would run the course in under 3 hours. That was the last I saw of them, the best time on that course is 2:17h.

The group I was running with carried on up and right, to the first of two uphills in the course. I can't remember where the cheerleaders started - but we were greeted regularly, throughout the entire course, by ad hoc cheerleaders or high school cheerleaders or belly dancers or musicians - including a harpist. One guy showed up four times to holler at us to "go on" & "we were looking great." I bring this up because Jason has mentioned that his marathons were quite different, no water support - no bathrooms, for the slow runners - and for comparison purposes.
Water support was plentiful, but not overwhelming. I could tell when I was heading toward one by the sound of cups hitting the ground. Lines of polite high school children and their parents held out cups of water, which were gulped down and discarded. The sound of that, cups hitting the ground, water spilling out, magnified by roughly one hundred people at a time is a fairly impressive sound. I tried to get water at each station.

The riverfront parkway gave way to the industrial area of Portland. We ran on NW Front, toward the oil refinery & then turned back. On the drive Jason and I took the day before, I had thought the area cool & bleak. By the time I ran this portion of the race it was wholly populated, runners heading out to the refinery, runners heading back into the neighborhoods. Toss in the aid stations, the people waiting to wave to their loved ones, the bands, the musicians, etc. and you have quite the party. At this time, I turned to get reassurance that I wasn't the last person running.

So, that's about 9 miles in & we're cruisin' into a neighborhood. From the days drive before, I had planted seeds of stories to get through the parts of the race from here out. The neighborhood was the forest - because the streetside trees preceded the yard lined with shrubs. On race day, I ran by some kids playing music on their toys (with the same enthusiasm as the professionals) and their mom and another woman. They were in lawnchairs on the side of the road, in the shade. They were cheering. And one of them was eating waffles. I pointed to her plate and said that waffles were a very nice touch - you know, to encourage the runners along. I mean, if you run a marathon, that's the only consistent thing I've heard and it's true: you get to eat crazy carbs before you run insane distances. This is the plus side.

The story idea led to me running onto the sidewalk and snagging a bunch of rosemary from a line of bushes along the street. I felt completely refreshed by that scent & passed along a bit to another runner who asked "what's this for?". I answered "it's for smelling". He smelled it and seemed to be relieved, saying "oh, that's wonderful". We hit a downhill and I ran on, holding on to the remaining rosemary. I handed the rest over to a volunteer who was cleaning gummi bears off the road & handing out mints.

We went downhill for a while & then it was mile 13! Halfway there. They only had a cardboard sign up for the halfway point, vs. the kids sitting in lawnchairs at every mile, using megaphones to call out our time as we pass. I kept thinking that 17 miles would be the halfway point - mainly because I was trying to keep my mind off of how many miles I had left to run. So, I wanted mile 13 to be mile 17. Mile 17 is where the St. John Bridge started and if I made it by 12:30, I would be able to run across it.

The miles between these two, 13 & 17, were kind of a pain in the ass - because this is where the walkers flooded past me and my "running form" and "pacing" didn't seem to be getting me anywhere. I had spent the bulk of the race to this time in the upper reaches of aerobic exercise for me - according to my handy bpm calculating watch. My heart was working harder & harder, the more I ran & I had to slow down to keep within the range that I worked with a marathon trainer to establish. Doing that, slowing down to keep my heart rate in a useful place, meant that the walkers would be able to get by me pretty easily. You know, which stung.

Heading up mile 17, a couple ahead of me stopped to take pictures of "Check point Charlie" where only marathon runners could proceed and where non-bib wearer's were kicked off the course. The sign was in English and Russian & the guy had a note pinned to the back of his hat that said "tourist class". I think I ran by them.

I got onto the bridge & some folks around me stopped to stretch, look over the edge and one woman - encouraged us all to spit into the Willamette below. I went to the side and looked over & felt that it was a bit high up for me, although it looked very interesting. I was situated over a construction site, the river was to the far right. I started running again, looking into Portland to the right and away from the city into a beautiful, urban river valley on the left.

Crowds were formed at the end of the bridge, jazz musicians played. We ran through University Park on Willamette. Mile 19 was around here & I mainly remember it getting hotter & me trying harder to drink water, eat - run. Jason mentioned on our drive the day before that this was where the marathon felt the most punishing.

Which reminds me... After the "forest" metaphor, I had a section called "the hands of God" and then "the place where God releases me to express free will" and then a whole thing about the river Styx & charm. I had charted the run down the Willamette as the vision quest part & so that fit in with the difficulty of continuing. I've never read more have I heard of a vision quest that didn't challenge someone with something they could conceivably walk away from, to their detriment. It was hard to keep going.

I spoke with two women who mentioned that we didn't have long to make the next 3 miles. They were concerned because the course was changing at that spot, for runners who made it after 1pm. The race course we had mapped included this 3 mile drop toward the end, something that would be an immense relief to run, even toward the end.

Some folks had hoses out to sprinkle runners with, guys in straw hats and striped shirts sang, we kept running. And running. I had forgotten how very far along the race that 3 mile drop is. It's very far along, so I'll just skip ahead a bit.

I'm running, it's after mile 21 and a woman comes up yelling that if we can run faster - we'll make the cut off for the original route, while the remaining couple hundred walkers would be another route. I run as fast as I can and am the last, as a guy closes the sawhorses to seal off the road. I'm being followed by a police car.

This is a great thing to have happen, or felt that way to me. The last in! I turn the corner and a guy yells to make sure I have enough water & sugar and reminds me it's 5 miles to the finish line. Seriously good news. I start thinking it would be petty to quit now.

We run and run downhill. I pass people who return the favor periodically. The parkway gives way to ramps and bridges - traffic follows and sometimes precedes us toward the end. We get onto the sidewalk around mile 24. The groups have thinned, we spread out, my companion police officer is swapped out by a motorcycle cop and then another patrol car.

The last bit before the mile or so to the finish line is over the Steel Bridge. It's pretty and the water below is populated with folks zipping along for fun & reminding me of Seattle. I'm doing little prayers of gratitude and then it's so almost over.

We run by the Saturday Market. Then back under the damp bridge, along the water. Then into a cordoned area, with folks crowded against two sets of chain link fencing. We're there & I start picking up the pace. I hear Jason hollering for me & look over. He's pointing to the finish line. There was music blaring and the sound of crowds reverberation off of buildings and I've run 26.2 miles and I get to call that good.

I turned the corner and was triaged through the end of the race: chip-off, space blanket-check, marathon pin-check, marathon finisher shirt-check. Jason asked if I could walk the six blocks up to the car, which I said yes to. I felt pretty craggy.

We headed home soon after. I loaded up with aspirin, water, powerade, frozen peas (for my knees), water, a roast beef sandwich and coffee. Jason has some pictures from the marathon, but hasn't had time to download them yet.

That's about it for the race. Tonight Jason's at Wm. Parker, it's Earshot season again, so he's doing some pre-production for them. Which is so great. Me, I have laundry to catch up on and filing to do. Which means movies. I've seen Easy Rider (harsh, dude), 50 First Dates (cute), Before Sunrise (couldn't watch that one), and for tonight - Shipping News and Ulee's Gold.

As for art: I finished the 27 pieces, but bought the wrong frame for the 11X14.

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

It's Tuesday & this morning I was greeted by balloons and streamers. The marathon was this weekend and this was my first day back to work. It was a delightful reception & fun day all around. Work beckons, tons to do, feeling like the decline at the 23rd mile. That there is a marathon metaphor. Which is a handy segue…

I want the indulgence of description here & may not reach a point in this ramble. For those interested in numbers, the following details will get you mostly there:

10k: 1:33:55
10 mile: 2:18:17
Half marathon: 3:22:05
20 mile: 5:26:02
Finish: 7:18

To find out more, there's a map here: http://www.portlandmarathon.org/

My bib # was 558

Here's a description of the course:

The first five miles of the course are downtown. The start is a gradual l mile downhill with the next 2 + miles over a gradual elevation gain of 140 feet followed by an immediate 2 mile easy downhill returning to the waterfront. The next section of the course from the 5 + mile mark is flat and flows through the northwest section of town. The course makes another gradual downhill and heads along the flat border road of the Forest Park area through mile 17. The principal elevation gain of approximately 150 feet occurs over the next mile as runners go up to and over the beautiful St. John's Bridge. Thereafter it is a spectacular run along Portland's east bluff that faces the Willamette River from approximately mile 18 through mile 24.
There is an elevation loss of approximately 140 feet from mile 22 to 24 + with a slight rise as runners go over Portland's Steel Bridge. Then it is back down to Marathon Avenue and onto Naito Parkway along the waterfront to the finish.

Pasted from http://www.portlandmarathon.org/info/

Photo album: http://groups.msn.com/obliquedeck/oct04.msnw?Page=1

Now, for the ramblers (this here is part one):

I came home Friday night & dawdled just enough to imply that I didn't actually want to go to Portland at all. After some time, Jason asked if I would maybe pack & get ready to go. I think we left at 8pm. We drove to Portland, calling Matt on the way down. He asked what shape we'd be in when we got down there. We offered to meet him at the bar of the hotel Mallory, but ended up getting drinks all on our own to take up to our room when we finally arrived at 11:30ish.

There was tv, of course. We watched Close Encounters of the Third Kind & walked through plans for Saturday. Which were: picking up the marathon packets, driving the course & then meeting up with Matt, Bart & Lisa to head out to Cannon Beach - to take our minds of the marathon (Lisa ran too). They would enjoy adult beverages and Lisa & I would be healthy. After sunset, we would adjourn & make it an early night.

We carried out that plan & Saturday was wonderful, a great way to get ready for the run. Sunday was what anyone getting up at 6:30am on a Sunday would expect. Dark, raw feeling, all dewy & calm, the way cities can be when they're off the clock. We walked down to the race. At first, there was only one other guy from our hotel heading purposefully in the same direction, but soon there were groups of twos and threes walking toward the same destination. Some folks had coffee. I had a cliff bar and all my running gear (nutrition, hydration, radio, sunglasses, first aid stuff Jason stuffed into my bag.

I checked in and they were attaching little chips to running shoes for everyone, so that they could track their time. So I got that too & then went up into the lobby. Jason & I walked to the start of the race - I got behind the 11-14 min split folks & felt like I do when the Olympics are on - sentimental, expectant & happy. We sang the National Anthem & listened to the mayor. She counted down the racers in wheelchairs first, then us "5, 4, 3, 2, pow!" I think she had a gun or something to make the pow noise.

Then, 20 minutes later, my part of the crowd was off!

Friday, October 01, 2004

So, I'm late, but there are more debates on the way:

Bingo: from Planet Socks
drinking game: Wonkette's wins, hands down

I plan on re-watching the debate - but that in itself is a bad sign. After the debate, I listened to the local NPR call in show & was lulled to sleep by the callers - all just barely frothing against Bush & sort of hopefully touting Kerry. It's the diversity of opinion that I was missing. The divide this time is ... dull.