start at the beginning

It's been a whopper of a weekend - J got hurt & has been down for the count (and will remain so for the next day at least), I've been helping him out and doing double-time - two astro readings this weekend and the rest of the content for the new site. I'll send word when it's all live & purty.

It's been foggy each morning & if we weren't running to the ER or trying to get somewhere in a hurry, it would've been a fine time for a camera.

Last Thursday the Sculpture Alumni Invitational opened at Cornish, my alma mater. Other J had a piece in the show, which was smashing (The show & her piece), along with H & other alumni who rocked. I got to reconnect with several professors, which was really lovely. It's so hard to believe it's been over ten years since I graduated.

Eero's show opened last week. There is just something so rewarding about alumni who are still doing good work & getting shows off the ground. Simply lovely to see.

I've been so swamped with wacky work hijinks and the new site that my artwork doesn't stand a chance. I miss it so, but am resolved to do one thing at a time. I am so excited to get projects underway and see them manifest. I'm confident that my art will fall into that category when the time is right.

I am wiped out & hate waking up after staying up so late the night before. This has been happening increasingly lately & I really need to put a stop to it. While I'm up, I could stay up forever. But it's really not worth it in the end.

So, I'll leave it there. J's been reading Hotel New Hampshire & if he were up, I know he'd read out loud to me. As it is, I'll finish folding the last of the laundry, hit the lights & hit the hay.

Hope you all have a great week!

tales from beyond my means

J & I made some heavy decisions this week. There is a lot of happy goodness that can come from them, but first tough decisions & their inevitable repercussions. I'm basically a happy, grateful person, but in the last few years - it's been easy to be sad, to feel that soft out of focus sorrow that comes with life during troubles.

I called my sister today, to put in a word for getting help before I go in for surgery. I don't have a date picked out, am working on that with a good friend and astrologer. For many people, getting an event date confirmed by an astrologer isn't on the list of to do's, but it's important to me, so here I am.

I'm still painting, in fact, that's a big part of why I want my sister to come help me get things in order. I've got an image of Frida Khalo in her canopied bed, painting away at an easel her family put together for her. If there is some way to duplicate that, I'm interested in making that happen for me.

I spoke with a friend today about how this period of time keeps reminding me of how sad I was when I was 15 years old. I had broken up with my first long-term boyfriend and was a complete mess around it. I had no idea how pleasant and kind relationships could be and it was obvious in how unnecessarily nasty our breakup was. Oddly, he had brought up on more than one occasion that my behavior was similar to stuff he had read about in Eric Berne's book on transactional analysis, Games People Play. I was way defensive about it at 15, but have been been reaching for a more rational, forgiving way to be in relationship since then.

Anyway, at 15 I spent most of my time alone and shut down. Since I'm feeling mighty overwhelmed these days, it gives me pause - I wonder what could've lifted my spirits then, or what could've kept me engaged. I am a very different person now & try hard to deliver on what I say - take my responsibilities seriously, etc. I cannot think of a better group of people than what I have around me now. These things help, but I'm getting to the place where time is the arbiter. I can't make time go faster & can't blank out the time I'm living through now.

This weekend, J & I went to take photos in Edmonds, a coastal town between Seattle & Everett. Moments like that help, knowing we're on the same team helps. I guess what I'm saying is that I'm going to keep trying to do things that stimulate my creativity... things that I get inspiration from. Apart from that, I'll allow myself to follow the waves of emotion, hopefully without unnecessarily stirring up emotions that just want to come along for the ride. There's plenty to handle without that.

Heading out to paint

It's late & J is in the kitchen messing with carrots, sweet potatoes and listening to Platinum Pied Pipers, while mocking me for asking. Jema is tucked in a cat bed by the heater after I moved her away from the kitchen.

Last night, I started a few pieces. All on paper, so the going is slow. I've got more supplies than I know where to put them & had started out moving things from this place to that, until I ran into a couple of outsized boxed that I couldn't have moved if I wanted to.

Today there was a lunar eclipse - astrologically a sign of disruption and time distortion. Today has been fairly uneventful, as is typical for me in days before I plan a big surgery. I'm hoping that by occupying myself with creativity, I'll sidestep the worry and unhelpful anticipation of times to come.

Wrapping up

Splendid weekend. I'm wrapping up loose ends, sitting next to my cat - who is talkative & squirmy on the edge of a chair & listening to The Drum Major Instinct by John Hollenbeck. The latter is a combination of jazz music & the sermon by Martin Luther King, Jr. I like it because he talks about how people want to excel & his view of how it can be done.

Today, I joined the Blind Shoemaker's Union in a song at Folklife. They went on to do their set & I got some pictures, here. After almost a week of rain, the sun was out. We danced & sang along - saw most of the folks from our turn class. It was a blast.

I spent most of the weekend immersed in the latest (in some ways the oldest) astrological theories at the NorthWest Astrological Conference (NORWAC). There were folks there who have been doing astrology for 30 or more years & folks who have become scholars in the areas of astrology that require them to learn greek or cuneiform to continue their studies. It was a bracing experience that I fully enjoyed.

Apart from the intellectual stimuli, the people there are lovely, funny and full of life. Next year, I'd like to grab some folks for a get together at our place. I got to soak in all that and still come home to J & Jema at night, exhausted & usually speechless, but ready to use this experience to shape another year of astrological study & application. I spent today sending e-mails to folks I'd like to stay in touch with - and making dates with local cats.

We also got to visit with family this weekend; Jason's Uncle & Aunt came out for a ferry to Alaska & we caught up with them at brunch before they left for the airport to fly back home. They had only good things to say about the trip & we were able to get news on the upcoming 60th anniversary of J's grandparents. We're heading to NC this summer and I can't wait!

After all that excitement, back home, the garden needs tending. Rasberries and blueberries are beginning to form. We've got a wasp's nest to get rid of in the greenhouse shed. There are still dandelions a plenty to eradicate. I wandered about, after re-planting an errant potato. It will take a day or two to get everything back up to where we left it.

I took some time to sit on a log in the back of the garden & just look around. It will be a while before my mind settles & it was great to have a moment of silence to look at - you know, sort of aspire to.

Well, the music has gone off & Jema is back upstairs in bed. I think I'll head up there too.

Whew, got that out of the way

First day back at the ol' job & I'm glad to have it all underway. Took a nap when I got home & woke up to J's fine spaghetti dinner. Wanted to stay up to get a bunch of cleaning done - little stuff & have done nothing of the sort. Caught up with Dan via instant messenger & have been surfing my flickr pics since.

Tomorrow I'd like to get the gardening wrapped up. We've still got a yard or two of the compost mulch to plop onto the garden & I'm sure there's more asparagus ready to harvest. Then there's putting together the home office. I've heard it's going to rain, but I'm not even going there. I mean, what do I know?

I've been studying some of the more medieval aspects of astrology these days. There's a system to establish dignity - which ends up meaning working on your own or tagging along with others. It's not complex, but it's not easy to puzzle out why certain combinations are together. I enjoy the puzzle.

Last weekend was so full of good conversations - I feel like a tub of water, walking around & trying not to spill over. There's something about opening your home to folks & really being interested in hearing where they've been that is so satisfying. Of course, I usually need a few days of quiet time with J to ease on back to my regularly scheduled programming, but it's very worthwhile nonetheless.

Guess I should give up the ghost & get to bed.

coming along...

I can hardly make my way through all of the cd's I've got loaded with images. I owe heaps of these images loaded onto cd's to folks who I care deeply for, and so am merrily (if a bit overwhelmedly) going through the lot. The first couple of cd's are burned, now I can go through the rest. Flickr album to follow.

Also, Virgo full moon + eclipse, if you've had a rocky day, that is one of the indicators. Not to mention that six months from now, you may see the manifestation of what you felt today.

Watching eat, drink, man, woman, must go.

Note to self

Tulips in WA are at their peak in April, the bald eagles feed in the Skagit in Dec-Feb.

I bring this up because when my sister & brother-in-law visited this weekend, we took a drive up to Newhalem, Ross Lake area. We ended up visiting the wildlife center there & taking in the sights (and the sights are plenty, here's the pics from J & my last trip there.) . I was hoping that a few bald eagles would have lingered, even though the salmon run that feeds them ended in December. No such luck. We did see a golden eagle last year tho, pics here and below.

The visit was dreamy - we all had such a good time! It means heaps to me to have my sister see the new place & take some time to relax. She has always been incredibly caring and super responsible, sometimes overwhelming herself with obligations. There's nothing quite as popular in the world as a helpful person & a capable, helpful person is just going to be in high demand.

My brother-in-law is no slouch either. He has amazing stories about his youth in Nepal, Cyprus & Turkey - a super dry sense of humor (which I didn't get until I was well past my senseetive adolescent years) and is just a swell guy all around.

A terrific weekend to get me into the two week class on vocational astrology. I'm looking at Martha Stewart's chart and following the details that reveal the underlying desires that motivate folks to choose the work they do. Martha's chart is a great one to look at & I'll look at charts from recent readings as well, to help get into the swing of things.

Awesome show on KEXP tonight. Roadhouse is doing a show on Martin Luther King, Jr, called: Martin Luther King and the Songs of Freedom - How Gospel Music Inspired a Movement

-Snippet from 1/11 post I never finished/posted

Tonight, I'm home. Jason's playing accordian & in between practice, we're watching West Wing. We ate left overs tonight, from last night's dinner with Christina & Jeannie. Glorious stuff to eat; chicken with bok choy & celery, quinoa with walnuts & red pepper flakes, brussel sprouts and bacon - some crazy Larsen's bakery danish product for dessert. I'm acclimating to cooking more at home. The brussel sprouts were an unexpected treat, I guess my taste buds have grown into the flavor.

It was a blast to have Christina & Jeannie over - even though we live in the same town, it's been too long since we've spent time together. We topped our evening off with a walk around the neighborhood. In the 2-3 days without rain, the sky has cleared and the stars, remarkable.

The moon will be full over the weekend, in Cancer - astrologically speaking, it's stronger (more emotional - as it's in it's own sign). I'd write more on the current astrological temperature, but I'd have to look it up & that feels like cheating.

Hurry up and wait - the too much at once version

Spent the weekend on the road, with firm intentions of spending most of that time in Twisp. Twisp, east of the mountains. Right off of Rt. 20 and accessible by either 20 or 2, depending on the weather. The weather, as in other parts of our great nation, has been erratic. A few details: snow storm in the North Cascades closed 20 this weekend, followed by a rockslide closing I-90 both ways just a day or two later.

Five of us went, in two cars. Laura and I spent two hours at the spa before meeting up with Lee, Tricia and Laurie at noon. When it came time to vote - 2 or 20, we all chose 20 & off we went. DOT site suggested that 20 was clear, but neglected to mention the planned avalanche control closure that would start, ironically enough, just as we arrived at the turn onto 20. So, at 3pm, we retraced our steps to 2. I was a bit fussy, but game to keep going. When Tricia suggested we stop at the Bavarian Village themed town of Leavenworth for the night - I was able to drop the fuss.

My photos from the trip aren't up yet. I'll admit that in Leavenworth I took photos of the hotel pool - to my amusement, it was in a bubble and heated. The usual fodder for photos of that lovely spot are more mountainous and bavarian. I was able to get some photos of the taxidermied deer & bear in the local Twisp grocery store too, but my batteries were drained by the time we got to the cabin. So no aspen and snowfall, no beaver dam or playing in the snow...

With the night's stay at Leavenworth, it took us a nice, round 24 hours to reach the cabin. We had a blast over the weekend - I brought my canvases for this week's show opening & got up to the usual hijinks with the girls. 'Course, time to go came too soon & after leaving at noon on Sunday, Laura and I were pleased that we got to the pass so quickly. That pleasure was shortlived tho... the final tally for this (typically 4.5hr) trip came to a rousing 7 hrs. The best was that when we got home, I didn't have the right keys to get into the house.

J was at the last of the Earshot Jazz shows & I missed him since our trip home took so long. Laura left a message on his cell phone for me - mine was in the house. I was so pent up from spending too much time idling & so I turned down Laura's offer to come with her to her place. I could get into the garage & I was sure that something would shake loose & I'd be able to enjoy the evening. That said, I did ask her to ask J to come on home, the sooner the better.

I was fussy now, but determined to ride out the night. I started unpacking the many boxes in the garage (which I could get into), noticing that J busted butt this weekend. I stubbornly tried to move my flatfiles on my own, earning myself a sore hip & shoulder this morning. I swept the patio free of leaves, which I deposited on the lawn (couldn't find any bags in the garage). I manhandled the catdoor and tried anything I could find to get me in the house.

Time passed.

I sat on the front porch, debated painting in my non-painting clothes and waited.

A little more time passed.

Ok, really, a lot of time passed. J came home at 11:30 and parked behind me. I don't think he was expecting to see me pop up in front of him. Talk about a sight for sore eyeballs. I was really pleased to see him. He got through the stories of the night, with my story tumbling out at the same time & we walked around inside the house - with him showing me what he'd done.

Nothing is quite as sweet as knowing that at some point, you'll be clean and cozy and wrapped up in quilts after being cold-ish, alone (even when you want that) and locked out. We talked and talked, catching up on the weekend and the grind that is coming for us in this week. Then, I got to sleep.

There's an astrological configuration right now that is all about hurry up and wait & it'll be in effect through the 5th of Dec. In fact, things are likely to get more confusing and less clear in just the next week, through the end of the month. For everyone, no kidding.

The funny thing about this weekend is that, with all of the blocked bits, I only barely got a sense of the frustration J's been dealing with lately. I can't even think of the rest of the folks I know. Haven't asked anyone, but I'll wager I'm not the only one thinking things could go a bit smoother.

Well, I should wrap up now. I'm in an internet cafe, our wireless is out at the house. Of course, we could make that a priority - but, um, that's so far down on our list it's not funny. So the periodic entries will be sparse-ish.

This week'll be a complete bear. I wish y'all luck if you'd do me the same courtesy.

Fewer words, shorter syllables

So not in a good mood tonight. J just got home from band practice & I got a sore throat while trying to put words to the sediment encrusted feelings that prevented clear action for me today. The closest I could get to a useable description included imagery of a donkey, digging heels in and trailing those heel marks behind it.

The last few days have passed in a haze of house cleaning, naps at odd times & staring at piles of paper that I will (with my stare) to file themselves. There have been e-mails to wrap up loose ends and other things tossed into the garbage. I've been restless & withdrawn, which I'm ostensibly ok with but it's a drag considering how beautiful it's been lately and how much I want to get done that isn't bare bones practical. It also makes it tough to converse with folks, hence the title.

Started reading Jung's work on synchronicity. So far I get it that he's stating that statistics are only valuable when applied to things in large numbers or simply relative to each other - which leaves a wide gap, statistically speaking, for experiences that fall out of the norm. The guy summarizing Jung's work suggests that Jung proves that astrology and the like don't work on a statistical level. It's good to see this type of analysis in writing & I'm hanging on to the theoretical language as best I can.

I'm reading this book alongside Neitzsche's Thus Spoke Zarathustra. I'm wandering through, having just reached part two. While surfing on Nietzsche topics online, I came across a story about his tumultuous love of Lou Salome. She wrote about Nietzsche, along with later lovers Rainier Maria Rilke & Freud. Somehow, it makes it easier to read Nietzsche's odd views on women knowing what the women in his life were like.

Sefik Can wraps up the trio of books I've been reading. Persia in the 1200's is fascinating reading. The formalities of Rumi's life, the details and intricacies take a few re-readings to absorb the meaning. I'm reading it with a bunch of other folks, arguing & debating really. That helps with the deciphering.

Apart from the above pursuits, I'm working on detoxing, on refining my diet. Nothing drastic, just adding cod liver oil to my diet, along with a few other teas & vitamins. But that alone is tough and it was too tough to continue while John was here. So, I'm feeling a bit goofy struggling with getting back on track and it doesn't make it any easier that I choose this topic to clam up on, not letting folks know what I need. There's plenty of precedent for that, I know. Food is such a social thing and social things can be fragile. It's sometimes easier to not disclose what you're eating or not eating when there's food prepared already & it's close to time to go.

Did I mention that I deleted photoshop from my computer & my cd drive is still not working? There's that happening now too.

Grumpy, me.

Good Day

Good week, too. I'm in the middle of cleaning with J & am stranded, momentarily, by the printer as the Library of Congress Class list prints out. Well, I'm so not stranded, but am rather enjoying a break. We're cleaning the house today & we've knocked out the first part of our project, but are just starting this next bit.

It's going through my office/our library. We've just cleared out all of the furniture & are going through the bookshelves & while I believe we'll maybe never need to organize our books on the "Leeward Islands--description & travel", I'm unconvinced that we're coming up with a suitable replacement.

This has been so much fun, this week. It's also been a lot like sitting next to a board that I keep smacking my head on... I feel more prepared to get into the newness of my life in the world of the marginally employed, but am really struggling with structure.

The good: met with Lolly & also with Jess, finding out that there is more openness to my desire to relax there than I had expected. Did an astrological reading, which reminded me that I'm good at that & was with a lovely person to boot. Put my office together, I mean my laptop, really, as we're still working on my office. Sorted out my art studio storage space, early on.

The bad: feel a bit helpless & so sad about the continuing violence in the world. I'm thinking about London, Iraq, etc. Also, have been feeling very dumb about how to fit together the elements of livelihood that appeal to me. It's not easy to describe what I'm envisioning right now, so it's a bit like "stump your supporters". A bit, I say, more than I like, really.

Three pages left on the LCC before I turn the pages over...

More... I've been too interested in the internet & suspect that I'll have to drop that along with my other crutches (caffiene & cigarettes, for example). There's no longer a reason for me to keep up with the latest software, media, news, etc. & so dropping it may come easier.

I've watched Kinsey & Midnight in the Garden of Good & Evil, recently & can recommend the former. The film is attempting to be as shocking as the man, Kinsey, in the first part of the film & succeeds throughout. It's amazing the effect of his studies, which I've never really thought of much, until getting the distinct feeling that they've shaped a lot of popular culture, at least, in the last fifty or so years.

k, I think I've scammed enough time away from chores... I'll be heading out now...

addendum

Here are some of the courses available as electives:

IS-402-S: The Interface Between Astrology and Philosophy in Late Antiquity. This course will examine the impact that astrology had upon cosmology and philosophy in areas such as the ascent and descent of the soul through the planetary spheres, the thema mundi – the nativity of the birth of the world, the role of planetary daimons and archons in Gnosticism, and the astrological implications concerning fate and free will. Readings will be taken from Macrobius, Porphyry, Plotinus, Numenius, Origen and others. Credit Equivalencies: Philosophy, History, Religion.

IS-402-K: The Business of Astrology. Practical reading and discussion of marketing, public relations, media, accounting, tax laws, ethics in business, office organization and modes of consulting (personal consultation, phone, mail, etc.) as they relate to an astrological practice. Credit Equivalencies: Marketing and Public Relations; Accounting; Business Studies.

If you're curious about this, click here for more.

Quick turnaround

Dad's home & crabby. I've heard that recovery brings crabbiness & hope for the best for him. He's uncomfortable, so that is a tough time.

This weekend I went to the fantastic NORWAC astrological convention & got to visit with & see lectures from astrologers at the height of their intellectual & emotional power. I love that conference!

Got to visit with my brother & his sweetie for the time I wasn't at work or at the conference. We all hung out with the smallest of downsides (didn't get to see Team America together, sigh). I love visiting with my brother & this visit topped the list.

We also went to the Folklife festival. Y'know, my maiden name is Folk. We went to the festival to see J play with the Blind Shoemaker's Union, which we missed by, like 20 minutes. We got there in time to see everyone packing up. Then we wandered around, snapping pics & baking in the rare sunshine of a Seattle day.

Friday night's fun was a potluck with friends & a book exchange, with the left over books being sold & the money going to charity. We left with more books then we brought, sigh. Foodwise, we brought homemade crab cakes, whoo hoo! That was very fun.

Speaking of crabs, I accidentally ordered a bushel of Maryland crabs for my brother's visit. That's around 6 dozen crabs & the time he was out here was hallmarked by his diligence with the crabs. He cleaned out easily two dozen & most for our benefit, as the meat goes bad quicker in the shell. He said he could clearly see the connection between me & my sister Tish through the crab feast. What can I say, I love crabs! Even better, I rushed home from the conference on Sunday, in time to go out for Seattle seafood. Luxury!

Year end work is wrapping up, fiscal year end - that is. It's tough going & I tend to be more brusque when time is running out. I swear I'm trying to listen & do what's best for business - but I can always work on my presentation. In fact, I'll start just now.

Laura Gerking Astrology

Saturn opposing Pluto. That's the big kicker. In astrology, this aspect indicates war, and a nasty one at that. Pluto in Sag = fanatical beliefs - Saturn in Gemini asks for the proof, the doable belief. Authority and Transformation duking it out. Our job as mere mortals is to face our own truths and not become rigid. Not to back into behaviors that provoke a fanatical response.

I can't stay clear on what that looks like, I've been missing the mark for a few weeks now. Almost can't recognize myself.