Up late, can't remember quote I wanted to lay on ya

There is another quote Pema Chodron uses that I like, I just can't recall it. It starts "Life is Short"...

Not to belabor things, but I needed to spend tonight crying. A clearing of the muck of frustration and acceptance and every other thing I struggle for and against, that's the idea behind allowing the tears. I used to cry easily and I suppose, compared to some, I still do. But today, it's taken a lot - digging deep beneath what should be done and what I want to do to get to the sadness that is what I have right now.

Not that it's a pure thing. I have this sadness hopelessly wrapped up in Alanis Morissette's "You Oughta Know". I was practicing the adult habit of stifling my feelings after getting bad news about a friend who deserves nothing but good & that song came on. I started to sing it, thinking that the last thing I'd end up doing would be sniffling - but that is exactly what happened. Evidently, this squishing your feelings down thing doesn't discriminate between anger/sadness & so whatever one is squishing can come right back up, no matter what the emotion is that kicks off the emotion parade.

Which brings me to the last part of this tale that I'd like to share. Not many people I know are aware that Alanis Morissette wasn't singing about some Playa, some broody big ol' bad man who stomped all over her heart. She was singing about... Dave Coulier - better known as a stand up comic who played Uncle Joey on Full House & did the voices for the damn muppet baby cartoons, for crying out loud. Evidently they haven't totally copped to it yet, but it's all over the online urban legends sites. Not a big deal at all, but heaping vengence on a guy who played baby "Animal" on the muppets doesn't seem to be called for -kinda takes the zing out of the song for me.

Ah well, I've noticed that I'm not making much sense these days. I'm sad & my feelings are hurt by how big life can be. Everyone goes through that, surely.

Be good to your people y'all. Seriously.

"Beings long to free themselves from misery, but misery itself we follow and pursue.

We long for joy, but in our ignorance, destroy it as we would an enemy."

Terrific weekend, though we were head down for the bulk of it. Seems like J & I are getting to enjoy the house now, instead of getting used to it.

Lack of maitri...

I am working on a playlist for today, after checking my *solar return chart for this year. I wish I had Steve Earl on the computer - instead, Frank Black is the song writer of choice - along with Pema Chodran for the woo woo quotient. The mix is coming along nicely - a song pops up here and there as I do other things.

2007 is a year where I can make goals again. I am going to assume that, even if it's not true. Goals drive so much of what I do. The solar return suggested a year of learning through unexpected events, along with - mainly - work.

Edit: The tape list is done - I'm still going heavy on Howe Gelb and there is a cat power song, but apart from that it was not so predictable. I also finished my goals - chock full of health stuff, typical house and pet stuff and work stuff too. Nice to get that part out of the way.









*solar return chart: update of the natal astrological chart, showing influences for the current year.