Back to work

I dreamt last night that I was back at my old job. In the dream, I felt confident & besides the fact that I felt my task was familiar - my confidence seemed to be based on the recurring thought of how much money I would make.

Sourcing the dream isn't difficult: I had a conversation this weekend with a former co-worker who was walking her dog by the house where J & I were helping our pals move. That covers the old job part - & I did make a comment about salaries...

What's interesting to me, about the dream, is how good it felt to be back in a familiar environment. So much changed last year - it's been months since I've felt anything at all familiar. At work, I could accomplish almost anything & the team of folks I worked with could do the same. And while our old place took forever to furnish - I enjoyed the bare spaces, which seemed more conducive to imagining what I wanted, moreso than our current, kinda crowded space.

Acclimating to the new place & to a different workstyle is a bit bizarre - I keep having to pull myself back on track & I don't honestly know this track very well. I am trying to push through my own resistance & it feels as though I'm getting nowhere. My recent vb job ended & ended well, so I'm confident that I'm capable of building the business of working for myself - I'm heading a week of seminars at Kepler & the garage continues to improve, for studio purposes. Things don't look bleak - but I can't seem to relax. J has been helping out a lot & is working on his own stuff to boot. Anyway, I'm going on faith these days.

I talked with a friend of mine today about being nervous about the new responsibilities of caring for a house. It's been a topic with a few folks recently. She asked if I'd owned a house before & then we went off on a tangent that owning your first house is like going out with a guy for the first time - you want to make sure everything is perfect, relating with such care feels impossibly fragile and so every moment is charged. That's my version, anyway. I feel that way for the house & am overwhelmed.

In another way, while I'm hungry to dive into all of the fun of the house, I'm hesitant, because I am really doing this for the first time. I can unpack my things. That's a big deal. I just wish I could perceive with a little more clarity how that clock is ticking. We could be here just 5 years, for example. This mortal stuff is not permanent. I won't be here forever & so placement & specificity have their time - but even that time is passing.

cleaning up

Today we went over the list of things that the landlord should know about the old place. It's been cleaned, mostly. We didn't get to the fireplace & the basement floor could use waxing, but it's way empty, swept & we're out of there:



It's Halloween at the new place. Intermittant knocks or doorbell ringing have happened all night. I'm taking a break at the computer before launching into an all out attack on the new garage. I've got to finish the work for the show that is less than two weeks away. I feel really good about it, but cannot get to the paint, canvas or anything else.

Which is why it's such a relief to be through cleaning at the old place. I didn't go in today, just visited with the landlord. But I cannot tell you what a drain it has been to have something to go for back there for, night after night. It seemed as if it would never end. And the new place has been needing attention.

I unpacked the kitchen today. It's been mostly habitable - first room really. But I was able to completely unpack it today. There was a pot full of coffee there tonight, along with some dinner. Feels homey. I look forward to getting the rest of the house set up.

Work is still happening. I'm building code for scheduling and it's going well. Very laborious proceedings. Lot's of habits to be shifted around (how is it that people can thrive on such variety - for example: people can write 7:30a, 730, 7:30 am or 7:30 - no big deal, but can excel tell the difference?) and code to test. I've got about a week left. Then another project will begin.

Things are so busy now I can hardly register the quantity. I sleep and get an isolated image or two, when before I would dream whole stories. I go to work & come home and work and either go back again or work more at home. There are good bits & lots of them and I'm grateful, but mostly it's a blur. Perhaps it will be this way until the Turkey trip...

Don't forget to check out the pics on flickr: http://flickr.com/photos/47503589@N00/58350473/

"Confessed faults are half mended"

Scottish proverb, that. I'm running late for an opening - thought I'd drop a quick note.

We're in the new place, have been for a week -- but tomorrow will rent another truck to get the "last" of our household items. I think it's natural to stop moving when you've filled your house & so we're actually picking up things that will overstuff. We'll get through it tho... keep in touch for the garage sale notice.

I've been peeping the stats and want to clear something up. Lot's of returns are pointing folks to this site for "slept on neck wrong". Just in case those folks are showing up here, may I recommend that you search under "neck pain"? Here's a link to get you started: http://www.google.com/search?complete=1&hl=en&lr=&q=neck+pain

A phrase I know in Turkish: Yavash, yavash. Means "slowly, slowly". Our schedule precludes that approach, but it's so satisfying to attempt it. Jason's been reading my Edward T. Hall & loving his assertion that some cultures live in "polychronic" time - the opposite, I think, of working against a clock. Like having dinner in an Ethiopian joint -- you should gather to talk with your friends, not rush through dinner & on to the next thing.

Ok, times up... time to get crackin'

Packing up

Next on the agenda - a weekend of moving. We got a place. It's a done deal now.

I've been packing my art storage space all night. I'm a procrastinator for starters, but this packing has been a doozy. I have enough time, but still seem to stress the same amount. I guess it takes practice to calm down around such a big change.

We're wrapping up the packing portion of this weekend tomorrow night. I've pulled ten more boxes into the basement - I hope that by rallying all of the boxes, I'll feel more motivated to load them up if there are enough for everything. There's still heaps of framed and unframed work to wrangle, but I guess that will be the next big hurdle.

Got to catch up with family over the weekend. It was very fun, very rainy & very much an outdoor wedding. I heard that my sister fell ill Monday and am rooting for her to get better. We'll know more on Friday about what happens next.

I should get back to those boxes...

My heavens

Spent the whole day packing, cept for a scant time spent watching some random dvd on the leetle tiny player. We've almost got the whole kitchen wrastled to the ground.

I checked the MLS site for our house, for pictures don't you know...and it's OFF THE MARKET. I'm so excited it's absolutely ludicrous. Also, there were thunderstorms in Seattle today. Also, Also, got the e-mail from the in-laws that the Danube is indeed what it's cracked up to be.

Finally, bubble wrap -- I'm for it, not even in moderation. Finally, finally, there's no way to calculate the value of true friends. I can't even go into it now except that it warms my heart and calls to action anything I can do in the black, if you know what I mean.

The night grows old & with it my slumber beckons. Off I go...

I used to believe

First, feel free to check out this site that welcomes your recollections of childhood beliefs. Things that you used to believe, but found out later weren't true.

It's here: http://www.iusedtobelieve.com/

Mine? I thought goldfish were piranhas. That is the only thing that kept me out of the aquarium that we had in our living room.

We're very close to purchasing our first home...this close. I've added the photos to flickr, I'm getting jazzed about this. Just started packing today, Jason's been at it all week.

--I should go help J, he's putting food together for tonight's potluck. Spinach, something something. I've been cooking a lot lately, it's part of the benefit of being at home. I hope that we start slow cooking in the new house, pressure cooking -- we got the equipment months ago, but haven't used it yet!

"Choose your soup"

We began our search for a home yesterday. Pretty houses, lots of potential. The realtor was direct about her thoughts on each house. There were two that stood out.

The first is a rambly ranch. Rooms are laid out in an unusual fashion. There is a shop.

The second has a greenhouse, funny second floor, decent footage and a ridiculous extra - the closet that connects two rooms. A feature I never would've imagined as an option, were I to build a house. The closet is perfectly normal otherwise - it appears to have been created out of a door between the rooms - guess the house is that old. Meaning that folks probably used chests or armoirs to house their clothes. So there weren't any closets.

We saw a third space: a 1920's craftsman just completely rife with charm. Front porch, each room with a view, huge yard. It had an upstairs area that would need work - a lot of work, to make it easily saleable -- but was charming and open, making the most of the available space. It's just that the space is awkward and kind of funny.

It was lovely to do this with Jason -- we are both so careful with each other's needs and that is obvious throughout the process. We are both so concerned with making sure we'll have what we need, we are paying a lot of attention to the details.

I'm writing stories about the houses, drawing layouts in my journal. It's fascinating to attach to the goal, vs. the building expectations. It appears to assist the process.